Choking and Screaming!

When I first arrived home I started to get milk coming out of my nose, this would make me panic and every time I would try to inhale, I'd just get more milk blocking my wind pipes. I really don't like this and I cry and scream lots and lots, my face turns really puffy and goes a darker red/purple colour.  Usually, with varying methods, my parents can get me to settle down after about 10 minutes, but when this first happened they took me straight to hospital. The doctors checked me over, said I seemed fine, said it shouldn't happen, then sent me home. Two weeks later, my parents and me,  to some extend, have gotten used to this daily ritual. My Dad puts me in the choking position and gives me a few hard back slaps to push things along. These do hurt, but they do help and it only really happens once a day. Over the last few days however, it's started to get worse. Probably every two hours from midnight I would block up and scream. My Dad would give me the old back slaps, Mum would lie me in the recovery position and they'd both try and fish out some of the gunk in my mouth. At 4:00am on Sunday I started again, making it the third time in a night, so my parents got me dressed and sent me back to hospital. Not surprisingly, by the time we arrived on Sunday morning, I was pretty much better. The doctors gave me a quick check over and sent me on my way again.

It happened twice again on Monday night. Milk out of the nose, scream and tears. It could be because I am taking nine different types of medication, some of which are very thick or sticky. Perhaps it's because I am on Oxygen and my airways are always dry because of it? Perhaps I drink too much? Or perhaps there isn't really a reason and that's just life?


Either way it's not fair. 

Felix

x

Around my house

Today has been a truly awesome day. Now I've got my mum nearby I have learnt that all I need to do is cry and I will be fed. Last night I did this every hour. This morning I was so tired. So,  I had my regular four hour break, and am now just starting to pick up the pace again. I've had a health visitor and a hospital-at-home nurse come to see me today, they weighed me and measured how my Oxygen levels are doing. I'm pleased to say that I've gained weight and my O2 levels were 100%.

The best of today was getting to know my house and the area where I live.

Here I am with Dad and some flowers. These flowers were planted just before I appeared in the world. Look at us bloom.

The very pretty lady on my right is my Mum. She appears in lots of photos because of that fact.

 

Here I am posing with my Dad. This is my garden. My garden!

OK, it's your garden too Dad. 

 Here is that beautiful mum of mine again. We are both in the kitchen. I've never smelt big people's food before and my mum cooked something called 'Masaman Curry', my Dad had to open the doors and windows as he thought I would choke on the chillies being fried.

This isn't my garden. It's the park right next to my house. My parents LOVE walking so they couldn't wait to put me into my new pram (thanks Grandparents and Great Grandparents)

Yes Dad, I'm still breathing.

 Did you not believe Dad?







Peekaboo!

After all that fresh air it was definitley time to take a well deserved nap.

 Night night x

Daddy's comments

Although Felix didn't mention this,  we think he's scared of the unfamiliar environment, especially at night. In the hospital there is always light in the rooms and low-level noise. In our bedroom it's pitch black and quiet. We noticed Felix was unsettled when we roomed in with him at the hospital because it is also dark in their family room. Last night he was awake every hour and would try to feed at any given opportunity. The same happened after lunch time, he'd wake, cry and start sucking his hand. When presented with a breast he'd fill himself up so much that he'd deposit some in his mouth or explode in his nappy before falling asleep. He eats as much as his mum and eats as fast as his dad. 

What a trooper.

Love being back at home,

Rob x

Crossing things off

I've been busy lately ticking off things on my to do list. Last time I blogged I wrote about how I had successfully removed my annoying feeding tube (Farewell Feeding Tube) and how I had planned to conquer various other niggling matters. Well, after a few days, I think I've been very successful. This is what my to do list now looks like.














Two items down, two to go. 

As you can see the first job I have completed was 'milk on demand'. 
People often say that you need to find your voice, well I've been practicing. I asked politely for more milk but nobody paid the darnest bit of attention to me. Other babies don't speak. So why would people listen? Instead I used the most cliched form of requests, something which I condoned only a few weeks ago.  I cried.  Here I am crying to get milk, look at what I've succumbed to.

Call me a hypocrite but it works. All the time. I've also ticked something off my list and never have to go hungry or over-full again.

The next item crossed out was NOT something I expected to do so quickly in my life. I've heard other great people have dedicated their lifetime to accomplish similar objectives but haven't succeeded. You could call it beginners luck or a fluke, but what ever you call it, for a brief moment in time I had orchestrated complete "Ward Peace".

Now, I can't divulge too much information on how this plan was executed but I can share some key points leading up to the main event.  Firstly, the previous day, I overheard a conversation between one of the nurses and my parents, they were talking about 'rooming in'. The following day, there was more talk about 'rooming in' and I could feel the excitement radiating from my parents. My parents then disappeared for a few hours. When they returned my Dad started moving things around my cot, he picked up my beep beep machine and placed it next to me, untangled some leads, clicked something above my wheels and before I could say "I need a pee"......... I peed myself. Anyway. After the click, I started to move, but instead of being pushed by men in green jackets or women in blue uniforms I was being pushed by Mum and Dad. They drove with such precision I could hardly feel the bumps. Five seconds into my journey I felt a instinctual, primal urge to ask "Are we nearly there yet?" but I know people don't hear me and as it happened, after ten seconds, we had reached our destination.

Macclesfield it appears is three rooms. Inside this room there was the biggest cot I had ever seen.

 It was humongous, I shivered at the thought of seeing the size of the baby living in it and felt a little intimidated. Why would my parents show me this? The room was also very blue. The only time I'd seen blue before was on my blanket or some clothes, but this was mega blue. There was blue on things I didn't even know exist. However the most important thing, the thing which I've saved til last, is that there was no nurses, no doctors, no consultants, no babies or their parents. Just my Mum, my Dad and Me. Me, Mum, Dad. Dad, Mum, Me.

The big baby never appeared so my parents slept in his cot. There were no doors banging, no talking and no babies crying. Complete and utter Ward Peace.

 

Hooray!

Felix x

A Riddle

Sometimes I don't have to do anything to get it and sometimes I have to work hard for it. More than often once I have it I don't see it again but other times it re-appears, sometimes faster than it disappeared. It is wet and white, warm and smooth and tastes sweet and creamy. Can you guess what it is yet?

I'm so excited about milk I could talk about it all day. Milk, milk, milk. Even my parents and doctors talk about milk all day. My mum? Well she can even magic the stuff out of her big pillows for me. Milky milky milk. Most times I get it through a feeding tube straight into my belly and because everybody loves milk that much big people give me loads of the stuff, does this happen to anyone else or am I just the luckiest baby in the world? MILK!

After my tummy has been filled I can feel a bit full. No surprise really, then all kinds of funny things happen in my body and before I know it I can see my lovely milk again! Magical milk. It really is amazing stuff. Now, the times I have to actually work at getting my milk are the times which are hardest to tell you about. I remember opening my mouth and I remember getting pushed onto something a bit like a dummy, I recall sucking really hard but then, my memory goes blank....the next thing I remember is waking up and feeling hungry so I repeat the previous steps. I haven't really got a clue how long this last for, but it is sure comfortable.



My Dad gets a bit jealous when all this is happening, because all he can do is watch - he likes holding me too, but I've noticed Mummy is holding me much more recently. Thinking about it Daddy hasn't got those big pillow things, well not as big as mummy's, perhaps that's why.

I wrote my first song the other day, it is to the tune of "Food Glorious Food" from the 1968 musical adaptation of Charles Dicken's classic novel Oliver Twist.


Milk Glorious Milk - by Felix Siam Hasler.

Milk glorious milk!
It comes from my mummy.
It's smooth just like white silk
and fills up my tummy.

Just wish I could keep it down
Before my next feeding.
But rumbles from deep underground
Sends my milk streaming!

bluuuurghhhhhhhhhh.

Hope you all have a glass of milk today .
Felix xx

Dad's comments - Felix is starting to breast feed but is finding keeping his full feeds down. He is meant to have 26ml every two hours but after a day of vomiting it all back up it has now been reduced to 13mls every one hour. This seems to please him much more and fingers crossed he'll keep it down. We now have lots of photos of Felix wearing different clothes as he is being changed very often! His breast feeding amazed everyone, although he is only sucking for a few seconds before getting tired he was only 33 weeks. Babies are meant to start around 34-35 weeks so it's pretty impressive. He's taking a break from this now until he can tolerate his 13ml feeds hourly. These hourly feeds have been expressed from Mummy. Who has now taken over 2/3 of the hosptials freezing storage.