Listening to the iClick

As I have been a star pupil I got to listen to an iClick.

The iClick plays sounds for me to hear, 'click click click' over and over again. It was the first time I had heard music and I loved it. The headphones weren't too great though, but after 10 minutes I got some new ones.

 

These ones played the 'click click click' tune very clearly and had great sound cancellation features.

I closed my eyes and really got into the track. 'click click click' 

'click click click' 

'Click click click'

Drip Drip Drip

If you want some milk shout

Click Click Click

Click click click

  

Click click click

If your a preemie baby shout

 Click Click Click!

If your a term baby shout 

Click Click Click

All my preemie girls

Put your mittens up

All my preemie boys

Push your SATS up

 

Click click click

Click click click

Life in NICU!

Crossing things off

I've been busy lately ticking off things on my to do list. Last time I blogged I wrote about how I had successfully removed my annoying feeding tube (Farewell Feeding Tube) and how I had planned to conquer various other niggling matters. Well, after a few days, I think I've been very successful. This is what my to do list now looks like.














Two items down, two to go. 

As you can see the first job I have completed was 'milk on demand'. 
People often say that you need to find your voice, well I've been practicing. I asked politely for more milk but nobody paid the darnest bit of attention to me. Other babies don't speak. So why would people listen? Instead I used the most cliched form of requests, something which I condoned only a few weeks ago.  I cried.  Here I am crying to get milk, look at what I've succumbed to.

Call me a hypocrite but it works. All the time. I've also ticked something off my list and never have to go hungry or over-full again.

The next item crossed out was NOT something I expected to do so quickly in my life. I've heard other great people have dedicated their lifetime to accomplish similar objectives but haven't succeeded. You could call it beginners luck or a fluke, but what ever you call it, for a brief moment in time I had orchestrated complete "Ward Peace".

Now, I can't divulge too much information on how this plan was executed but I can share some key points leading up to the main event.  Firstly, the previous day, I overheard a conversation between one of the nurses and my parents, they were talking about 'rooming in'. The following day, there was more talk about 'rooming in' and I could feel the excitement radiating from my parents. My parents then disappeared for a few hours. When they returned my Dad started moving things around my cot, he picked up my beep beep machine and placed it next to me, untangled some leads, clicked something above my wheels and before I could say "I need a pee"......... I peed myself. Anyway. After the click, I started to move, but instead of being pushed by men in green jackets or women in blue uniforms I was being pushed by Mum and Dad. They drove with such precision I could hardly feel the bumps. Five seconds into my journey I felt a instinctual, primal urge to ask "Are we nearly there yet?" but I know people don't hear me and as it happened, after ten seconds, we had reached our destination.

Macclesfield it appears is three rooms. Inside this room there was the biggest cot I had ever seen.

 It was humongous, I shivered at the thought of seeing the size of the baby living in it and felt a little intimidated. Why would my parents show me this? The room was also very blue. The only time I'd seen blue before was on my blanket or some clothes, but this was mega blue. There was blue on things I didn't even know exist. However the most important thing, the thing which I've saved til last, is that there was no nurses, no doctors, no consultants, no babies or their parents. Just my Mum, my Dad and Me. Me, Mum, Dad. Dad, Mum, Me.

The big baby never appeared so my parents slept in his cot. There were no doors banging, no talking and no babies crying. Complete and utter Ward Peace.

 

Hooray!

Felix x

Farewell Feeding Tube

So, after two weeks of attempting to remove my feeding tube my hard work has finally paid off. Unlike in Liverpool, the nurses in Macclesfield have much more advanced tape to keep the tube stuck firmly to my skin. I could no longer perform my ‘hook & pull’ method to yank it free as whilst I’m flapping my hands over my face to secure a hold I’m spotted and mittens are placed upon me. No, in Macclesfield a new plan was required, a plan which requires patience, stealth and an unrelenting will to succeed. I named this ‘Operation Feeder’.

Operation Feeder consisted of clawing and scratching away at the tape over a large period of time. When I’m not picking I made sure I hid any evidence. If I worked too fast the big people would spot something was amiss, too slow and I would risk the weekly re-insertion of a new tube. I likened this to prisoners chipping away at their cell walls with makeshift pick-axes, rebuilding each morning so the guards did not notice. I’m a prisoner and I haven’t even reached my due date yet.

When the tape was sufficiently removed it was time to make the final pull. Two twins in their incubators sounded their alarms for me, distracting the big people and giving me a just the right amount of time to pull the tube away from my face. It hurt, but I was successful. It's now been over 48 hours and my face remains feed tube free. I still have plastic tubes up my nose but either way, I’m claiming this as a victory. Another result for Master Felix.

“What’s next on your agenda?” I hear you cry. Abolish thermometers? Milk on demand? Ward peace? These are on my agenda but the most pressing matter and the one which is closest to my heart (or nose) is obviously the removal of these oxygen tubes.

Each day, with the help of my parents, I can feel the trickle of cool, dry air reducing. I have managed to pull the small nasal plugs out of my nose on a variety of occasions but sometimes they stick and spike me. I know that if I can get my monitor to stay above 93% when I have had my Oxygen turned off, the nurses won't turn it back on. This can be tricky, but I am learning to meditate to control the machine. I will persist. Not just for me but for all the babies in this ward. One victory amongst the babies boosts the troops. Only yesterday for example we saw another of our friends escape. His parents arrived in the afternoon with a sort of flying chair. They strapped him in, hid his Oxygen canister in a tall bag, threw it over their shoulder and marched brashly out of the door. He hasn't returned and the nurses never questioned his disappearance. He’s made it "home".

Congratulations friend, I’ve made notes and I plan to share your success with my parents and any new arrivals. Once I find the right moment I’ll see you at “home” soon too.


(Here I am attempting to escape the cot, but as you can see the monitor is at 79% - it's about to alarm and send the nurses running)

 

Remaining persistent

Felix.

Triple chinned milk guzzling master.

Just a short update to let you know that I've put my foot down and I've upped my milk rations. I'm now drinking 61mls every four hours, plus as a deal sweetener, I'm also allowed to drink as much breast milk as I want. As a result of my actions I've started to put on a little weight. I now weigh a back breaking 2.45kg (5.6lbs)  I'm getting a triple chin and love handles, mum said that this is the first time I look like my Dad.Yarrr!

I also start to feel hungry for the first time now too, when it approaches the four hour mark I start to wake up. This pleases my Dad lots, he sees this as a perfect opportunity to pick me up and have man-to-man chats whilst my Mum is preparing herself for my feed. Mum often gets frustrated during these special conversations and snatches me away from Dad saying "Hurry up! He'll fall asleep!" or "Quick! He looks really hungry!" I agree, as soon Dad passes me to Mum he'll eat some chocolate or fall asleep.

After my approximate 10 minute feed, I am often sat up to 'burp'. In the six weeks I've been alive my parents have never managed to burp me. Once, by complete coincidence, I did release some air when my Dad sat me up quickly, but not and I repeat NOT as a result of this back smacking and rocking they persistently pursue. Sure I've heard other babies burp, but they'll do anything for a bit of light relief. These are the same babies that scream when they're hungry, wail when they are having blood taken or shriek at bathtime. Not me, I'll burp when I'm ready thankyouverymuch. If you give the big people what they want, they'll just expect more.

Resist my fellow friends.

 Resist.

Burping out of the way, it's either back on the breast for round two or over to Dad for some supreme cuddles. I've collected some of my favourite cuddle pictures which I thought I'd share with you.

Skin to Skin with Dad. 

 

Seconds out - preparing for round two. 

 "Don't go to work Daddy, Please?"

 

I won't let you go!

 

Daddy Sleeping He Is. 

Sleeping too I am.

Just to show you that I love mummy cuddles too.

 

You may have noticed that in some pictures from previous posts I am wearing 'mittens' on my hand. These were deliberately installed by you-know-who to disrupt the removal of facial tubing. Admittedly I do make myself bleed from grabbing and pinching my face so I can see that they do have some benefits. I haven't a clue why I grab my face, I just can't stop myself. Today for example, I put my hand in my mouth, grabbed, pinched and tried to pull my lip off my face. It hurt like mad and however much I wanted to stop doing this I just couldn't remember how to make my hand stop. Eventually, I did something I wasn't proud of. I cried "WAAAH!!....Dad rescued me and called me "stupid". Fair comment.

Anyhooooo. Back to mittens. Mittens are far too easy to remove, nearly as easy as feeding tubes. They are so small and just slip off with ease, they don't even hurt when they come off and I can be back in action within seconds. To counter this the nurses have been busy in their research department devising new methods of restraining babies. A few days ago I had something else put onto my hands, these were longer and for the life of me I can't find out how to remove them.

 

They aren't too uncomfortable, I just can't get them off me! Aaargh! Why?!!

But wait what are these? Ooooh Green things. I like Green things. Yes, these are lovely. I'll stop complaining, please don't take them away. Can I keep them? Pleeeease? They are beautiful. I'll just lie here and look at the them for a while.

That's enough blogging for today.

Bye bye

Felix xx

(Can you spot something else about this picture?)

Dad and the strange man.

Retinopathy of prematurity

My Dad's doing something strange lately. He used to be next to me all the time with my Mum but this week he's been here less and less. When I do see him, he always kisses me on the head and says "Daddy has to go to work" then disappears again. Do you think he's getting bored of me? I mean it could be a possibility.  Lately I have been ignoring him and just sleeping when he's around. He has tried waking me up by pretending I'm a DJ, although that amused him I was just too tired to really put any effort into his games.

He has also started coming at a much earlier time, for the first few days he would pick me up and place me on his lap to sleep, but now he just stares at me. I peek occasionally you see. Mum on the other hand is here even more, she just never goes away. It's actually getting hard pretending to be asleep all the time when she's here so I wake up just after my Daddy goes and my Mum arrives, she changes my nappy washes my face and tries to push something strange inside my mouth. This thing, which is attached to her pillows, amazes me. I just stare at it. It mesmerises me. Hypnotises me. I get sleepy and fall asleep thinking about it. Then I feel something dribbling on my nose, Milk! Where on earth is that coming from?! I open my mouth to see if I can get any and before I know it my face is being squashed onto my Mum's pillows, I can feel something tickle the back of my throat and when I suck, it tastes nice. Did you know that once I sucked for 14 minutes? 14 minutes. I had to pull myself away occasionaly to pant and breathe, but 14 minutes! Round of applause for Mr Felix please.

I went off piste a bit there. Sorry.

Back to my Dad.

My Dad didn't go away today. He arrived with my Mum and helped her change my nappy and things. I thought it was a bit strange but was very happy that he was here so didn't say anything. After one of my feeds a nurse came and tried to open my eyes, she found it difficult as I was pretending to be asleep, so my Dad helped her. When they were open she dropped something into them. It wasn't too bad and over the next hour she returned and did the same thing again. I just put this down to another strange big person ritual and didn't really complain. Just after my parents returned from lunch,  I heard a new voice. This was a deep voice like my Daddy's and he sounded very friendly. I was pushed into a new room (Macclesfield is two rooms, not one like I previously thought) and I heard a door close behind me. Mummy and Daddy weren't here. I don't like it when they aren't here.
The nice man very quickly turned into a monster. With my parents out of the way he grabbed my face and tried to open my eyes. After much resistance he finally got the upper-hand. Before I could close them again he used a hideous contraption to keep them open. He then proceeded to shine a bright light into my eyes. Torture.

I panicked.

I told him everything I knew.

"My parents spilt some of my milk!"

"They wasted some cotton wool!" I tried.

"They put my nappy in the wrong colour bin"

I told them everything I knew but it wasn't enough. I was depleted. I cried, screamed and wailed, half hoping my Dad would kick the door down and take the doctors temperature. That would teach him. But Daddy didn't come, Mummy didn't come. It was useless.
I stopped crying, I was defeated. I passed out.

Five minutes later I felt my eyes close and my world move again. I heard the soft tone of my parents voice, the delicate touch of my Mum's hand and my Dad's wet, sloppy kisses on my forehead. They had saved me! I knew they would. I'm the luckiest boy in the world. It felt great. So great that I had forgotten what had just happened.

Until I saw this picture.

Felix

Dad's comment: 
Felix was fine 10 minutes after this picture, his eye test was also very positive. They were checking whether he had a condition called retinopathy of prematurity.

Luckily, Felix doesn't know that the monster will return in two weeks for his last test (shhhhhhhhhh)

Knowledge

Now I'm in my cot I feel that I can observe things much better. I am become much more knowledgeable and understand how and why things work. When I'm not meditating, I can see people's faces much better and hear each and every noise.

I'll try to explain a little more about what happens in my ward.

Everyday around 11:00am all the parents are asked to leave the room whilst more doctors and nurses enter. When these people form a circle around my bed, my parents, but only my parents, are allowed to re-enter the room. I've experienced this for 4 weeks now and I think I've figured out what's happening. They are called the 'Ward Rounds'. At first I never really paid much attention to what was being said, it was always big words which were responded to by nods, pens on chins or the sound of my Dad's voice intervening. 10 minutes pass, my parents leave and then my friend's go through the same bizarre ritual.
Recently however, now I'm more alert and am not trapped in my incubator, I've started to understand what is being said. I've tried to remember as much as possible, but can only really remember the words which I understand. The beginning bit is always the same. See how you do or if you want a hand visit my medical information page.

"Felix was born 29+6 with RDS, he's conjugated biliruben with screen in place, PDA was closed on day 5. Had infection with two positive cultures now negative after 10 days Teicoplanin. Has bi-lateral IVH with Grade 2-3 & 4, two weekly ultra scans and head circumference show normal development. Now back on 2 hourly feeds. Stools are of a pale colour"

After this the doctors and nurses look at the computer screens and ask each other questions. Sometimes my Dad suggests different answers or says something funny which makes people laugh and then realises perhaps he should be a bit more serious. Tut tut Daddy.

The last things they say are often to do with things I need to work on and improve. "Stools are of a pale colour" for example. I remember a few weeks ago when all the talk was about me opening my bowels. I did that. It took me two weeks of trying but I eventually gave the people what they wanted, but was that enough? No. Now my poo is of the 'wrong' colour. Imagine that!

Recently I've started communicating with my friend on the other side of the ward. As we haven't worked out how to talk, we communicate by setting off our alarms. If you have ever visited a neonatal ward there are mainly two alarms that you will hear regularly. The first, and the most common is the 'Saturation' alarm. When our oxygen saturation drops below 90% an alarm will sound, it's not a very loud alarm but it's enough to send communication to other babies. The next alarm is the more serious sounding one. I can get this to make a sound if I hold my breath or wriggle around when I have trapped wind, this is the 'Brady' alarm and it will make a loud fast alarm if my heart beat drops dramatically. Today, I managed to set my 'brady' alarm off and my friend responded immediately. I stopped, he stopped. In our language this means "Let's see whose nurse is the fastest". It was a draw.

I think the nurses are cottoning on to our games as last night I had three of my four sensors removed. Now I just have the "sats probe" attached to my foot. My Mum said my feet smells just like my Dads when this is removed. Thanks a lot.

Felix X x

Duece

Felix 1 - Nurses 1

Do you remember my last blog post I'm my own doctor? I had just managed to score a point against the nurses by removing my cannula, increased my feeds and started to wear clothes. I was very proud of myself. I could move my hands all over my face without pieces of plastic prodding me, hold my parents fingers on both hands and grab onto my feeding tube when it irritated me. More on that subject later. The last picture I had that day was when I was looking like this.

 

Cute eh ? I think so. Look at me sucking my fingers unobstructed!

I would have thought that the nurses would have been happy to see this but, I have a feeling my blog is being read by the people on the inside. "Felix 1 - Nurses 0" - news travels fast. Nobody likes to lose do they, especially to somebody 1/50 their size. I would like to say that I was shocked by the hospitals next move, but I would be lying. After all, all is fair in love and war.

The hospital staff returned when I least expected them, my parents had just put me down after cuddles and I noticed a blue figure walking towards me. A single blue figure. 1 vs. 1. Bring it on. She picked up my wrists and placed a light underneath, illuminating my flesh in the process. She pulled out a sharp pointing thing and inserted it into my hand. I wasn't giving up blood that easy nursey! I don't know how, but I wasn't. Another blue figure approached. 2 vs 1. Unfair by anybodies books. This nurse held my hand whilst the first tried harder to get my blood. No way. Not in my incubator. Wait?! That's my Mum holding my head?! I was shocked, I fixed my glare onto her and stared at her in disgust - she didn't like this so swapped with my Dad. I stared at my Dad in disgust - he just belittled me "Come on little man, just give the Nurses your blood!"       4 vs 1. What a joke! I started losing it at this point, what were they all thinking? I shrieked over and over again until something was put into my mouth, it tasted so nice, sweet sugary water, sweet sugary water, sweet....sugary......water.......PAIN! Aaaargh, I shall not surrender - you can not pacify me!!!

One big person walked away 3 vs 1. Another followed 2 vs 1. Just my parents left now. They kissed me and said "sorry". Forgiven. They left the room 1 vs 0? I had won! No blood given and against those odds? Who would have thought.

10 minutes later I saw another figure approach. This was a new figure, it was not wearing blue, but black and red. She was shortly backed-up by a blue figure. I hid my hands under my blanket. She didn't even look for them - she grabbed my head, put something wet and cold on it - moved it around, stuck something in and left. Finished. My head felt a bit funny, but I wasn't too sure if I had won or not. All this fighting made me tired, I slept. I only found out I lost when my parents returned and the room fell silent, my parents looked shocked and I heard my nurse say "sorry", a bit late for that I thought.

I had lost. I mean look at me!? What a complete mess.

There are positives though, every cloud and all. Before I saw my reflection, I didn't actually know I had anything on my head, I did feel something when the nurses were here, but after that I couldn't be too sure what that was. My Dad likes it because he knows I can't grab hold of it and try to pull it out and it does allow me to keep my hands free to suck and move around.

What they didn't remember is that I can still grab hold of my feeding tube (the one stuck to my face and up my nose), especially now I have nothing attached to my hands. I have learnt a great counter-attack for when my parents are changing my nappy. This involves shrieking and crying, whilst flailing my arms around the place - if this doesn't stop them I simply flail my arm onto my pipe, close my grip and PULL! If I can do this before my Dad grabs my hand I can successfully pull out the entire tube. It hurts like mad to get it pulled out and it hurts even more to get it re-inserted but, I feel that I'm scoring points. Since this there has been a introduction of white things on the end of my hands.  I think these have just taken my fingers away and replaced them with something soft and warm. I can no longer grab at things or scratch myself, and to be honest - but don't tell anybody, they are actually pretty nice.

Felix
x

Comment from DAD - However alarming some of these pictures look Felix is doing amazing. The reason he has his cannula inserted into his head is because his veins have all been used before, making it difficult and dangerous to try and force it. He also (fingers crossed) will only need this in his head for 3 more days, until the end of his antibiotics. His infection has almost dissapeared from his body. His CRP is now 32 which is a massive drop from its peak at 189. Once this is down to 4 he'll be free of infection. He has also started to do something else even more amazing but I will let him tell you about that soon.

Thanks for all your lovely comments and well wishes.

Daddy Rob.

I'm my own doctor.

It's been a great few days over in my camp. I've been out for really long cuddles and have started feeling much better. Yesterday my eyes were open for hours and I found out some great news. My infection is starting to disappear. Remember that CRP thing I told you about? Well it was 175, but yesterday it had dropped down to 100! This was great news, so after a little contemplation, I decided that I no longer needed my antibiotics.

When no-one was looking I pulled the cannula out of my wrist and just let the liquid from my feeds (glucose) and antibiotics drip onto my bed sheet. I think I did this at around lunch time and the nurses thought I had peed so much that I needed my bed-sheets changing. After a few hours of this, I started to get uncomfortable. My right hand was now soaked and my Dad thought it was because I had my hand so close to my mouth, but it was obviously all the liquid dripping into my plasters. Annoyingly, I haven't quite mastered how to control my hands so my face ended up cold and wet after too,

It was only when I was being cuddled at 9:00pm that my Mum spotted that my hand was still wet, even though it was no where near my mouth. I should mention that my Dad spotted that my cannula was loose, but Mummy just ignored him. The nurses told me off, but agreed that as I am growing so fast that I should be fine without my drip and they increased my feeds to 21ml.

What a result. My hands are now free, my feed tube is in my nose again and I am wearing clothes for the first time!

Felix 1 - Nurses 0.

(We haven't told Felix that he has to have his cannula re-inserted this afternoon for his antibiotics, sorry little man - Dad)

Don't strangle me! I'm sorry!!!

Happy Father's Day!

Well my first collaboration with another human being was successful. Yesterday, I managed to make a card for my Dad and passed it to my Mum so he could have a surprise when he woke up in the morning. I made it from a paper bag which the Nurses use as a waste bag for my incubator.  The card, I heard, was a huge success and my Dad was over the moon.

 
But this wasn't the end to my surprise.

Yesterday I overheard my parents talking outside my incubator. Dad whispered "Do you know what the best Father's Day present would be? For Felix to be taken off his ventilator" Mum nodded her head in agreement and added "and a poo". Well, those two things were certainly achievable if enough effort was put into them, besides I was kind of getting tired of having this ugly ventilator on my face. Like a Buddha, I concentrated hard on my breathing. In, out, in out. Until I was breathing without thinking. Just as I had planned the Doctors noticed my monitors and nodded in agreement. "Remove the Ventilator" they said.

Free face. Happy Dad. Did I ever tell you how handsome I look without anything attached to my face? Well, sadly you'll have to wait a little longer. In exchange for The Ventilator, I was given The Elephant Trunk (or CPAP as the big people call it). I can't tell you if it makes me look good, but BOY is it uncomfortable.

In the morning, I felt the Nurse change my nappy. She had a funny look on her face and started to wear plastic gloves. When my parents arrived they were VERY excited to see my Elephant Nose. Then I heard the Nurse say "He's just done a poo!".....Que predictable Daddy Dance! Boy was he happy, he even kept on interrupting the Doctors on their daily rounds with proud father sentiments "That's my boy! We asked for this and he gave us it" The doctors played along nicely with him.

In the afternoon I got the results back for my infection. Not sure if I have mentioned this before, but healthy babies have a CRP of 4 - mine skyrocketed to 189 before reducing down to 163. Today, it seems - probably after all this Father Day shenanigans, it's gone up again. This wasn't planned and it made my parents upset again and that makes me upset. So I cried. My parents like hearing me cry and I know they haven't heard me for a week, so it made them smile.

I'm now resting on my belly, Elephant Trunk on my nose and bubbling foam out of my mouth. I am super comfortable and look amazing (or so everyone says)

Happy Fathers Day!

Felix
xx

Felix vs 'The Ventilator'

I've found it difficult to blog over the last few days. I am very tired and am having my ventilator doing a lot of the breathing for me. My ventilator and me have a definite 'love hate' relationship. When it's behaving, it helps me breathe and when I feel up to it I try to help the ventilator by breathing too. My parents like this because they can see red lines appear on the monitor which are my breaths, over the green lines which are the ventilators. The hard part is when I get a tickley chest. I can feel it bubble in my lungs which really upsets me. So, I strike. I refuse to breathe and as a result, my oxygen levels and heart rate drop. I set the alarms off and get some one-to-one attention with the nurses. The nurses always say "come on cheeky" and then places a suction tube down into my lungs to remove some secretions. With these removed I 'drop' a few times again but then forgive the ventilator and continue letting it breathe for me. Sometimes the doctors make the ventilator do lots of work for me, I like this -  but know it isn't good in the long term. Other times, they try to make the ventilator not help me too much, but I don't like this and I let everybody know in the only way I can. Strike!

The reason all this has started to happen to me is because I have picked up an infection. This appeared the day after I had my 'long line' put in. I have been told I am small (compared to you lot yes!) and because of this I'm not very good at fighting these bugs which live on all you big people. I've learnt lots of new words over the last week and I know that my CRP should be 4, but it went up to 189. After being given some very strong antibiotics it's started to slowly go back down and is now at 179. I'll be better again when it's back to 4.

However dramatic this all sounds, the real reason I haven't blogged much is because I now have both my hands trapped by stupid splints. In one hand I have a line feeding me antibiotics and the other I have all my sugary food. Sometimes I try to break free! but punch myself in the face.

I know my Mummy and Daddy have been worried recently because I always see them hugging each other (eeew) but they still sing songs to me, they read me books and talk to me all day. I can nearly remember all of the story 'Quacky Quack Quack' and love hearing the song 'On top of Spaghetti', as well as lots of funny Thai songs my Mummy used to sing to me when I was in her tummy.

My Dad said he's made a little page on this blog so people can read all about the stuff the doctors talk about. You can find that here -Medical Info

I have to go now, my parents will be here to visit me anytime now to read me my bedtime story. 

Night night,

Felix! x

10 Seconds with Felix - Super Sneeze

Something a little more entertaining!

A cunning plan.

Saturday, 7:00am. I was left to my own devices, hidden by the curtain covering my incubator. Knowing that the nurses are at their busiest during this hour I planned my next move; removal of the plastic tube sticking out of my mouth.



Over the last 12 days I have been practicing my hand-eye co-ordination to varying degrees of success. I have in the past managed to move my hands over my face, occasionally punching myself fairly hard in the process. I am also getting much better at loosening my heart monitors by getting my hand underneath the leads and pushing outwards. This occasionally allows me to get new coloured wires as I’ve damaged the old ones, but it also makes my monitors beep which scares my parents. However, I had not managed to remove the plastic pipe in my mouth, only getting it replaced from a much larger one which pumped air inside me, a ventilator I think it was called, but still I couldn’t close my mouth.

Until now.


Under the yellow veiled darkness of my incubator cover I ripped the tube out. I felt something move inside my stomach. Inside my throat. Inside my mouth and finally onto my chin. I had done it! HA! Felix wins. Take that big people, you can’t control me any longer. I can feel my lips, I can close my mouth, I can lick freely and breathe! Even my parents seemed proud of me. Yep, take my photo – I’ll look back on this day in years to come.

Oh wait, no – what is that? Why do I need brown tape on my cheek? Wooooh, what is in that sterile bag? Mum, Dad?! Why are you walking away!! Aaaaaaah I recognise that – it’s the same as the tube I just pulled out. Come on, give me a break. Oh few, she’s not putting in my mouth. Aaaah! My nose?!

I cried, screamed, wriggled. It didn’t work.



The big people are triumphant again.
An unhappy, but doing remarkably well.

Felix xxx

Another Step Forward.

Today was a very good day and it's not even over yet. Not only did i get to be held by Mummy, I also got my additional oxygen turned off. Now I'm breathing the same air as you. It feels great and everybody is so proud of me.

This afternoon was very funny. At 5:00pm my folks came to change my nappy. My friend in the incubator next door, I had heard, had done a massive 'poo'. Imagine that, not only can he produce something that I can't, he goes and makes a massive one. I'm starting to put the pieces together of this puzzle, when my Mum and Dad open my nappy they say 'just wee' (just!) Then my Dad massages my tummy. I don't really like that, but - it gave me a thought - perhaps, Perhaps what I'm meant to do is try harder to pee and then a poo might appear. With my nappy now removed I gave it a shot, aided by my Dads hand pushing on my belly, something appeared! It was yellow and blasted up in the air. Cool! It reached the perimeter of my incubator and dribbled down the side. Mum and Dad found this hilarious! Had I done the fabled 'poo'? I tried to focus in on their conversation. "Quick put a nappy over him!! Stop his pee!" Oh, I hadn't. It was clearly another pee. A very impressive and visible variety of pee. I wondered if my next door neighbour could reach the side of his incubator? I bet he couldn't. He's too busy showing off with his poo producing abilities.
After being fed (mummy's turn) - it was Daddy's turn to cuddle me. This time, the nurse said "It's your turn to take Felix out by yourself". I could see my Dad was excited. I braced myself carefully for his big hands to pick me up and shut my eyes in anticipation. He very skillfully whisked me away from my incubator and carefully placed me onto his bare chest. He smelt very peculiar today so I cried in protest. Nothing changed, he still smelt, so I settled down and fell asleep.
After 30 minutes he put me back into my incubator very carefully. I could see his huge smile. I could see my Mum's huge smile. I saw them give each other a hug and kiss. Big people are so easy to please.
Before they left, the Nurse showed them how to flip me over onto my preferred sleeping position, my belly. The second I'm on my belly, I sleep.
I feel sleepy.
What a fun day.

Felix xxx

Sorry Mum and Dad.

I know I made you worry lots today, but I'm very tired and sometimes when I am in a deep sleep I forget to make sure I do the things that older babies do. It was also very noisy in my ward today and I've just started drinking much more milk. Look forward to see your jolly faces in the morning. Just make sure you don't wake me up,  i'll do that when I am ready!
Felix x x

A New Addition!

The Hasler family would like to welcome our newest member, Felix Siam Hasler!

Felix was born at 30 weeks, 2 month premature. In such a short space of time he has overcome lung, heart and blood issues and sadly as a result of all this trauma he has had some brain tissue damage. Felix however, isn't aware of this. All he is concerened about is when the nurses are going to take his temparature again. He really, really hates this, which is strange because all this entails is a normal thermometer under his armpit which in comparison to blood transfusions,injections or tubes being inserted into his lungs seems virtually pain free.

Felix will try and blog as often as he can but the nurses have a strict 'no blogging' policy in his incubator, so it will have to be when they are not looking.

Welcome Felix !