A little schedule

Home is my third location and it's also unquestionable my favourite. At home there are five rooms but I spend most of my time in the bedroom or the lounge, with occasional visits to the bathroom. I also have my own room, but it's super small with no windows, making it more like an oversized cupboard than a bedroom. As my parents love me they feel guilty even thinking about putting me in there and are scared that if they do, social services will come round and take me away. So, instead, I'm sleeping very happily in the garden shed.

That was a joke.

Don't take me away.
 
As well as my own little room, I've got my own little schedule too. It's fairly complicated and often changes depending on my mother's social agenda and my father's willingness,  but it is a schedule, of sorts. I'll quickly attempt to run through key appointments in my day.

6:00am - I've usually had enough of sleeping by now. I do spend most of the night asleep but just to ensure my parents are still alive I subject them to various reaction tests. These test vary in severity from a few sniffles here and there, to full blown milk-out-of-the-nose choking. On each occasion my parents have confirmed they are still alive, very alive in some cases. 6:00am arrives and I'm ready for a feed from Mum or a cuddle from Dad.


6:30am - On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays Dad disappears to go to the Gym, blaming me and the sugar required to get over baby-in-hosptial adrenaline dumps for the weight he has gained. Ignoring him, I snooze with my sleeping mum until he returns.


8:00am - Daddy comes and saves me from the bed. To do this he climbs over the bed, turns off my oxygen, unplugs me from the 02 tank, wraps the tubes around his arms and carries me downstairs where he reconnects me to another tank. He then removes a bottle of milk from the freezer,  plays with me, sings to me then plonks me in my chair whilst he prepares my medicine. Mum sleeps. If it wasn't for Dad I don't think I'd move from the bed.

9:00am - Daddy disappears to work. Mummy reappears. 

10:00am - Time for medicine, nappy change and a feed. At the moment I'm on 10 different types of medication and take them in varying quantities, three times a day. They don't taste very nice and they stain my clothes. My Dad took an arty-farty photo of them the other day to make them look more palatable. It didn't work.

11:00am - Around this time I am baby sat by my Grandma. Grandma lives in a computer and speaks Thai just like my Mummy. She talks to me and calms me down whilst Mummy has a shower and tidies the house. Mum says she tidies the house, but I always see her at another computer or playing on her phone. When Daddy gets home from work he is told to tidy up.



12:00pm - Mum usually takes me outside most days, she disconnects me from my big Oxygen tank and connects me to the smaller  portable one. She then pops me in my pram and pushes me down some very bumpy roads until we arrive at our destination. Our destination, invariably, is Mothercare. No, that's not true - I do go to the park lots and I have lots of friends whom I meet.

3:00pm - Back at home, disconnected and reconnected, time for more medicine and a feed. I should state that my feed times aren't really this regular. I'm a 100% on-demand baby. Sometimes I'll wait four hours, sometimes two. If I shriek loud enough, I'm fed.


5:30pm - Daddy comes home. Mum and Dad put me on the floor and make me lift my head up. It's really easy and I'm not to sure what all the excitement is about but, it makes them happy which is fine by me.

8:00pm - Eight PM is bath time, this is really Daddy's duty but sometimes he's a bit lazy so toys with some excuses 'Felix is fast asleep' or 'He's had a busy day' yadaa yadaaa. If I'm lucky enough to make it into the bath I am disconnected from my big tank and reconnected to my portable tank. I don't like being undressed. I don't like being carried to the bath naked but, I love baths The other day I had a bath in the kitchen sink after I made a mess in my nappy.


9:00pm - Feed, Medicine and story time. Mummy and Daddy take it in turns reading me a bedtime story, Dad reads me stories in English whilst Mum reads me stories in Thai.  I'll usually fall asleep straight away after my story and I know my Mum and Dad aren't far behind me.